Celebrating Our Mums, Wherever They Are!

mum, me & smokey

Mother’s day has become an unusual day for me since my mum has died … but rather than resisting or resenting the day, I find myself, with some intentional effort, beginning to welcome the day.
Yesterday, I made a point of being with my mum, without the schedule gymnastics that I know so many of my friends had to cope with. I found as I spent the day painting a chest of drawers, it was lovely to allow myself to drift into a sweet connection with my mum. Although now physically gone for 3.5 years; my mum continues to be a prominent force in my life.

I fondly recall her reading bedtime stories to me as a child. I loved to look up into her eyes through her fancy 60’s cat eye glasses, not realizing until now what an effort it must have been to squeeze her 6 foot frame into bed with me and my cat. As you can tell by the photo, this did not leave much room for her.

She had a way of effortlessly connecting with me without me understanding her obstacles. She is still very much a part of my daily life, her Betty’isms ring out in my ears at the most opportune times:
  • “when painting, clean as you go, then there’s not as much to do at the end”
  • As she served dinner, “I made this especially for you!
  • Have a light snack before you go to the party, you can’t be sure when the food comes or if you will like what is offered, that way you won’t have a problem with the wine”
  • “No need for tears, they don’t help the situation”
  • “When travelling and food is offered, take it, who knows when the offer comes again”
  • “It’s always better to see it live, make the effort to get there”
  • When dating, “it’s kinda nice to have a boy like you more than you like him, enjoy the attention”

She continues to be part of my present life, although I am now part of her ‘past life’, and for this I am grateful … so when I have those moments I need to be with her, I make a point of mindfully being with her. Regardless of whether someone is gone physically or not, you can mindfully be with them, allow yourself to think beyond the linear here and now.

Life Coaching with Ruth
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  1. Celebrating Our Mums, Wherever They Are!

    What a great post!
    I can't quite grasp that Betty is no longer here. I think of her often and always use, with fondness, the beautiful cotton and linen hankies she gave me as a child and into adult life. We share the same initials so the little cloths are exquisitely monogrammed. As a child she had given me hankies with a beautiful script B on them. BK was her maiden intials and BK became mine after marrage.
    I remember being at the movies, as a young woman, sobbing over the plot and pulling a vintage hankie from my jeans. No one my age used them but I felt connected. I would have loved them with or without mine and Betty's initials just because they were from a wonderful woman.
    Always remembered, always missed.

  2. Celebrating Our Mums, Wherever They Are!

    such a sweet photo!

  3. Celebrating Our Mums, Wherever They Are!

    Thank you for sharing this. Estee' Lauder Youth Dew takes me back to my mother. I loved her smell. She always made me laugh.

  4. Celebrating Our Mums, Wherever They Are!

    Fabulous photo!! Funny, it's the third time this week I hear this theory about having the boy like you more, or the man love you more. I'd never heard that in all my years…suddenly it comes up 3 times in the space of a week. The Betty'isms are fun.

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